Children’s Ministry

Helen Vanderbom. Trowel & Sword, February 2003

Preamble: The growth of Christian Schools in the last fifty years or sons an indication that Christians take the raising of their children in a Godly environment very seriously. But is it the case that an unintended consequence may be that parents today may not be as diligent in teaching their children in the home as their parents and grandparents were when they were growing up? Helen was well know for being passionate about children’s ministries and for bringing up children in the Lord. In this article Helen writes about some of the issues in raising up godly children in a Christian environment in the home.

Children’s Ministry

The new year with its challenges has now come upon us in earnest. Children and Youth ministries leaders are finalising the year’s aims, programs and activities. Many plan to come to the “Strength for the Journey” conferences run in almost every state, and to other local training opportunities. Parents are sacrificing again to send children to Christian schools.

Once again we must ask, what do we want for our children? What do we want for our churches and families?

Our affluent Australian lifestyle encourages us to provide videos, video games and play stations, camps, birthday parties, trampolines, cubby houses, indoor and outdoor entertainment, takeaways and outings, music and sports lessons all for our children’s well rounded education and social development. Our children have tremendous opportunities to develop their gifts and interests.
Despite all these distractions, as Christians we still believe that the most important thing we want for our kids is that they hear and respond to God’s message and desire to serve Him with their lives.

And despite the great programs our churches may run, the home continues to play a central role in the faith development of our children, both positively and negatively.

One question I’d like to examine is the place of family devotions in the life of the Christian family. How important is it to have devotions and Bible reading as a meaningful part of the family’s regular routine? Many of us know of people who were put off the Christian faith because Dad or Mum made them sit very still after the evening meal to listen to a long Bible reading, followed by an obscure prayer. My own memories were similar except that the chapter read to us was from a children’s Bible and I loved it. The prayer was okay and we had opportunity to talk about things if we wished. 

Many ‘old generation’ parents wanted their family to hear God’s Word together and to be trained by it. Fathers as head of the household took on the priestly task of leading in worship and teaching, not with harshness but love and respect. Mothers also accepted this task and took it seriously. Such was obviously the ideal family situation. We know not all our parents were like this. When parents had Godly wisdom and loving discipline, the children were able to respond and experience the love of God and learn His ways.

What about our modern Christian families? Many of us have cast off these old ‘shackles’, and no longer believe in this Reformed tradition of evening meal Bible reading and prayer because it was so boring’ and ‘old world’. Or we do not see it as all that important. Or we would like to maintain the custom but do not have the time.

So how do we reach and teach our children effectively today?
For those of us whose children are able to go to Christian schools we expect to rely on them to do the hackwork of helping children gain an overall understanding of the Bible.
Cadets and Gems (Calvinettes) have Bible badges that also give knowledge of what the Bible is about.
VBS and Holiday Clubs generally by their nature of being short term, must concentrate on particular stories or themes of the Bible that teach about God’s love for them in Jesus.
Sunday school and after school clubs. These have a number of functions in relation to the Bible. To tell the Bible stories in a regular, refreshing and interesting way. To present the central message of the Bible, God’s ‘Big Story’ so that children can come to know, believe and have Life. To teach the Bible so children will learn how God wants them to live in response to Him. All the above programs include having loving Christian leaders who by their lives, words and actions challenge the children to respond to the Good News they hear and see.

Teaching the Bible at Home
Aren’t the above aims broadly similar to what we want for our children at home? Today’s families are very busy people. Fathers work long hours, often cannot get home till late, perhaps even after the children go to bed. Then Mum has the major part of being with the kids until the weekend. Or there is shift work, or both parents work either full or part time. There can be unemployment with a little more time but also with the issues of seeking work and struggling with feeling depressed. The financial burden of paying for today’s modern home as well as Christian school fees also adds to the mix. The complexities are immense. This is the reality for the family today.

Can families still afford to worry about daily family devotions? Can’t these church programs do the job so families can use their spare time to do fun stuff, relax, watch TV and get out a bit?

God makes the parents’ task very clear in passages like Deuteronomy 6:5-9, Deuteronomy 11, Proverbs 22:6 and Ephesians 6:4. In these Scripture passages teaching and training are emphasised. Teaching and training always involve regular effort and the setting of priorities. Although the task can be shared with the various other programs, the central task is still there for the parents.
So God’s Word seems to point us towards having regular family times where we can train and teach about God and His Word. Using our mealtimes is a good start although the Deut. 6 passage reminds us to use every family outing and opportunity. Mealtimes are generally regular, readily available opportunities to talk and share.

It may mean that one parent takes on the responsibility of leading the family devotions much of the time because of circumstances. It is much more likely that regular Bible reading happens when it is a daily habit. A daily routine does not take away its effectiveness if it is done thoughtfully and appropriately. Just as we need to feed our bodies and clean our teeth every day, we need to feed our souls and meet with God daily. Our children learn much about our relationship with the Lord by these everyday habits. In Psalm 119, verse 105 we read Your Word is a lamp to my feet and a light for my path. Helping our children to see the immediate relevance of God’s Word to daily living, as well as having a wider overview of God’s Word will enable them to use God’s Word in decision making as they grow. It is important to choose a children’s Bible suitable for their age. Children need ‘milk’ rather than ‘solid meat’. Only slowly are children ready for an adult meal. There are also devotional books around to provide variety, but it’s important not to neglect reading God’s Big Story.
Asking questions and encouraging the children to ask questions ensures that they understand the story and issues involved.

I believe it is appropriate to leave out passages that deal with things that are beyond the kids’ understanding, and to make the teaching time interactive, relevant, lively and of appropriate length. Again the ‘milk passage’ is applicable.
If fathers are not often able to be around for this daily devotion time, it is important for them to be involved as often as possible. The kids need to see that it is Dad as well as Mum who loves interacting with God’s Word and believes God’s Word to be central to their lives.

We must not neglect prayer time as part of the daily family devotions, perhaps using a variety of approaches. Most of our children learn to pray spontaneously if we encourage and guide them. And we too may become more comfortable with prayer if we make the effort for the sake of our children. It is realistic to accept that we cannot fulfil this regime for half an hour every single day. However, God does want us to make family devotions, like our own private devotions, a priority, and put time and prayer into planning it. It takes effort to decide what is appropriate at each stage of our family’s life. And God can help us with that too. God will also help us review our priorities and activities from time to time so that we continue to be blessed by our family devotions.
May the Holy Spirit give us the desire to look at this aspect of our family life so that families and His church may be built up through Godly parents and children growing together in love and knowledge of Him.

H Vanderbom

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